My Name Is "John" (Also "Woody," and a couple more), and I am an asshole.

All American men are always already at least to SOME degree afflicted symptoms of ass-wholery.

Is there something in the cultural dna (capitalism? individualism? exceptionalism?) which inclines--nay, verily, propels--an overwhelming majority of Murkin males--especially, but not exclusively, of the pale-skinned persuasion--into lives of wholesale "Ass-wholery": Being WHOLLY an asshole, all the time out of habit and privilege?

It is for that reason that years ago I founded the "American Society of Recovering Ass-Wholes" (AS-RAW).

As with any other finding relief form any abusive condition, recovery from "ass-wholery" requires a community of fellow sufferers from which to draw the strength to resist its very real blandishments, and of friends willing to see the sufferer through the inevitable, but increasingly occasional, relapses.

and they'll thank you (eventually) if you sign 'em up...

Membership comes with a nice plaque!

Saturday, January 30, 2010

WANTED: Nominees for AS-RAW Recognition.

We'll of course consider nominations such as might be made in the names of either Pat Robertson or Pat Buchanan, and their ilk and like (too numerous to name), without a great volume of substantiating information. An award of Ass-Whole of the Day could be presented to the owner of the most egregiously ass-wholistic public behavior or expression in the "public sphere."

But we are interested also in the quotidian ass-wholery of y/our friends, spouses, lovers, bosses, teachers, and others who seem unable NOT to (e.g.) gratuitously offend and then laugh about it. As "recovering assholes" ourselves, we claim the ability to recognize ambient ass-wholeric behaviors, and the authority to remark upon them, in a purely "interventionary" posture. I could mention the 'clever' young, male student who persisted in answering rhetorical questions (until I softly reminded him that, were we members of any other species, I would be compelled to kill him--or at least to try to).

Indeed, our aim here is to attempt to compile perhaps the defining document of American Ass-Wholery (at fiorst, only; later we might move onto the international scene; Burlusconi seems a likely honoree). If you have a tale of individual ass-wholery--I happen to know PE Nolan has several "Buzzkill" stories that would qualify--we invite you to submit a narrative (preferably, for legal and security reasons, anonymizing the offender to all but their own eyes) for consideration of membership and recognition of their contributions to the field..

Depending on volume, we may be able to award Ass-Whole of the Week, Month, and/or Year, and to develop a means for nominating members (readers, you, the "recovering" ones, or those who by dint of gender exception avoided the syndrome altogether) to vote to honor deserving candidates.

So, please submit your nominees with suitable narratives, with photos of relevant bruises. breakages, or other injuries, soon, to the Comments here, or to the FaceBook page We shall soon open up.